Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
"How old was your husband?" "98," she replied.
"Two years older than me"
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?

Thanks mike!

It's not whether you win or lose, 
but how you place the blame.

Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" 
is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist ".
 

 Cup of Tea .
 One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

 I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

 Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was
 one of my favorite toys.

 Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I
 brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several
 cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

 My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of
 tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure
 enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she
 watches him drink it up.

 Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)

 "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water
 is the toilet?"

 Thanks SB!